thefifthmonarch | (no subject)

... Somehow I think I'd feel better doing so with you, if it's required.

[Private to Noriko]
By the way... thanks. And sorry for the hassle I gave you.

It is required, Mr. Euysebius.

[Private to Erland]
You should be nicer to a lady. I defend you way too much if this how you respect me.

Very well. At your convenience, then.

[Private to Noriko]
I know, I know... that sort of headache is something you really didn't need right now, when you're trying to settle in and face some of the ghosts of your past.

I was just... stressed out over the whole thing... Shiroko does that, I know... and I didn't blame you in the least for putting the penalty on her in the first place.

...so... yeah, sorry for the hassle.

Is there any odd urges you feel, whether sexual or physical?

[Private to Erland]
It was for her benifit.

... Ghosts of my what now?

Mm... I don't know about sexual... I'm rather well taken care of there.

Though... Mn... The other night I... nearly hurt Souha. I felt like I had lost it, and... I barely pulled myself back enough to not really hurt him that much.

...I worry that I might be... unbalanced, energy wise...

Arguable, but everything that's happened may have helped after all.

You know, with Alex, and Shiroko...

And why did you feel the need to be so promptly aggressive with him, Erland?

Unbalanced?

Ah?

... Durr?

Mn... I'm... not entirely sure. Under normal circumstances I'd have just been annoyed... but the fact that I'd just come off of arguing with Shiroko, combined with the fact that a penalty was placed in my own HOME, without my knowledge... It was very frustrating, the whole thing... then Souha... he went into this other personality that was very hesitant, even unwilling to remove the penalty... He kept resisting and talking back even as things escalated, and it was clear he had no chance... ... It's no real excuse, but... I think you probably have an idea of what it felt like in that moment. ...I'm glad that I didn't do any real harm to Souha, though.

Yin and Yang, I suppose. We Xenotions are very susceptible to changes in our balance, because the different energies literally make up our consciousness. If things become unbalanced, we tend to lean more heavily one way than the other.

Yeah. I think she's finally doing some soul searching... though I worry the effects that this has had on her self image.

And why do you argue with her so much?

... In your own house? But aren't you god in your own house.

Wait, which personality?

"Argh, what the fuck is thisshit, why is it happening and why are fags doing it?"

Could you give me an example of this balancing process.

... Care to explain?

I guess I kept hoping that I'd break through. Besides that, where she's DID, she effects my relationship with Shiyoko, and sometimes Shihoko as well.

...Not a god, Noriko. I have the ABILITY to sense such things, as well as the ability to break them up should I want... but it's somewhat taxing at my current strength, and I really never expected that Souha would be ABLE to make a dark game, much less that he WOULD.

Very calculating. Not Femha or the angry insecure one. Never met them before the other day.

...more "Why isn't this working??? How dare he taunt me when he's obviously beaten!!"

Well, you have the 'yang' energies, which tend to be for creation, healing, order... and the 'yin' energies, which erode, destroy, destabilize. It's like having two sets of wires interconnecting the nodes in your brain. Each type of wire 'shapes' the signal being sent across it, if slightly. If you get too many of one type of wire, the signals tend to get shaped a specific way.

Well, she's always been desperate to try and prove herself, and the whole ordeal has made her self image basically collapse, leaving her with the thought that she has no real value as a person, and only exists as an object of sorts... in this case sexual.

Ah? How does she effect you.

Relative god. King. Ruler. What happens is incapable of not being noticed. And if you're taxing yourself, why do you not relax or find more strength. And yes, that seems... wrong. The third seems ignorant on his device.

Oh, the cute one who likes sandwices.

Some people are arrogant. Humans espically so.

And how do those signals get shaped? And... what have you more specifically been using?

Mmm... and how do you generally treat her?

Well, at the time I was talking with Shiyoko and Shihoko about their 'needs', if you get my drift. Shiroko interrupted and wouldn't have any of that, despite the fact the other two hadn't had any for some time, and were quite ready.

That's just it... I WAS relaxing. That's why I didn't notice anything until it had already happened. I should have probably paid more attention to what was on Souha, but he's my friend... I never expected him to do something like this, at least without warning beforehand.

... I found him annoying, actually. Though, you like 'Saikou', so...

We can be too... it's something I try to keep in check... you shouldn't really fault an animal for being stupid, after all. It just burns me sometimes...

Well, I've been working on this planet, so I've been burning through my 'yang' energies, leaving my 'yin' unspent.

Well... I probably didn't treat her as well as I could have. We argued most of the time, and since I've already settled things with Shiyoko, Shihoko, and Shinoko, I could relax with them... so she felt that she was unwanted. Part of the reason I was trying so hard to get the penalties off of her is to show that I didn't want to be rid of her.... just for her to lighten up. I think I got through, thanks in part to the penalties breaking her, but... she still has some personal issues to work out.

... So basically she's the smut wife.

Well, the slave wouldn't.

... Saicchan's cute.

... So perhaps you need to destroy, rape, and pillage?

Such as?

...er... not... really..? I don't consider any of my girls like that... even if that kinda seems like all we really have in common sometimes...

Yeah. I think he's become my favorite Souha, ironically. With the possible exception of Femha.

I know you find them endearing, but it's all nails on a chalkboard to me.

...I'm really trying to put that kind of a life behind me. Besides, where would I go to do that?

Considering herself a prostitute or worse, rather than a girl who occasionally enjoys sex.

Perhaps you should try reaching.

The slave's great. If he weren't such an indecisive annoying ass.

c,c Wonder what I'm like that.

Good question. But as you said, you might be unbalanced. You can't be building and healing and fixing all the time, Mr. Son of Chaos.

... Mmm. And how does she react when you treat her as she wants to be treated?

Reaching?

Maybe, but I almost think I like him for that. He's much more... mellow, overall. Even if he complains a lot.

You weren't quite that bad, usually. It's 24/8 with them.

But I can't exactly go on a rampage, either. I've tried releasing some of it... storing it away in case I need it later... and the sappy posts my girls did today really helped me from a mental stance... but they're still short-term solutions.

...you know, I'm not sure HOW she wants to be treated... but she usually huffs at me, I notice.

Sharing their hobbies.

I prefer less complaining.

Er. Why I seem to be able to stand them compared to you.

Perhaps you should be a vigilante?

Hrm. Well, I would suggest playing to whatever she wants to be treated as. If she's not responding to what she wants to be treated as, treat her oppositely. Might humble her.

Ah. I have, to a point. Shiyoko is interested in mechanics, which is nice, but tends to be rather messy. She also seems to like porn and such. Shihoko... I honestly don't know what else she does. She wants to be viewed as an older woman, and treated as such, but she... doesn't seem to have much past that. Shiroko... I've tried finding out her hobbies, but she never lets me know what they are, much less share them with her. I got her a piano, hoping it would help her unwind... and she strikes me as the type to have had lessons. Shinoko is a kid, but I do play with her occasionally.

I probably have a higher tolerance for arguing and complaining than you do... while you have a higher tolerance of arrogance and such. Or so I'd assume.

...again, Yin energies. I'd end up killing them. And it's harder to use while on earth.

Mmm... maybe. Right now I want to try and strip down the bad foundation her mother built, and build a real foundation for her... and go from there.

Well, what's wrong with being messy.

... Older woman?

You try to harshly with her. Or too hard. Play by her rules, not your's. When you play with someone in their terms first, you'd find it surprsing how easy they'll give up the ghost.

Hopefully a politically correct and right kin of playing, pervert.

Probably. I'm a prima donna. I deal with prima donna easily.

c,c You can't be Mr. The Saint all the time. Unless you can store it and drain it.

Well, you want to strip the first foundation, you have to crack it somehow. And more flies with honey instead of vingear. But some harshness with difficult horses is sometimes needed to break them. It took Gren to make me grow up.

Nothing, I just don't care for it.

Yeah. Just like Shinoko is a kid, mentally, Shihoko has an extra... 5-10 years, mentally.

...maybe, but certain things just seem unacceptable to me, and I don't want to set precedent by saying it's okay when it's not.

Geeze, what do you take me for? Besides, if it was anything else, I'd have used quotation marks.

And I'm a complainer and arguer, so I deal with those better.

I know, I know... I'll just have to figure something better out.

And I think in the same way, these penalties have done that. It's just that she's basically shattered right now.

Then you're going to just be fucking her.

Or at least the personality is made to think it's earlier.

Still, you want Shiroko to respect you... get down to her level, her word.

Making sure.

So we work in our areas.

How do your people normally deal with it?

And you might need to show her how far the pit goes to make her stay in the middle.

...we share a deeper bond than that, I'd like to think. Even if we don't have the same hobbies.

If you're saying what I think you're saying, then yes.

I'll work on it... but I'd like to get the tree out first.

Pretty much.

...well, my grandfather split off and cast his yin out... which was my mother, who cast ME out... I don't have a lot of good role models there. -_-;

...I... think I get what you're saying, but.. pit?

Though, in all seriousness, compared to your Vidya, Ms. Shi(x)oko seems sort of... the trollop wife.

Older. Durrrrrrrrr. Sorry. Hands or bussy.

Perhaps to get the tree, you need to know why the tree is there first.

... And any other knowledge of how the rest of your race does it. And why not eject your own Yin?

The abyss. Darkness. Monsters. How bad things could really get from her.

...to a point, yeah. Vidya and I have... a somewhat similar background. Created to satisfy the desire of our parents, and discarded. Just because we don't have similar interests doesn't mean we don't talk about important things sometimes.

Yeah, I imagine you're rather busy. And yeah, she was created to view herself as being older.

Oh, I know why it's there... her mother was trying to live a 'perfect life' through her, and shoved the seeds so deep that they started growing there.

Because it becomes self aware after a while. Do you REALLY want a little Erebus running around once it gets free?

Hmm... maybe. I'm out of practice with visuals like that... and I'm not sure that she's in a state where that would really help, but I'll keep it in mind. ...though, that's not really where her hang-ups are, so I don't know if that would really help, either.

Oh I know. I'm just saying. She's the horny wife compared to Vidya.

... But is she actually older. Besides just the idea she's older?

... Ouch. That might not be fixable without extremely damaging surgery.

How powerful would it be?

Still. D/

...That, I can't really deny.

Hmm... good question. I think she tries to be, and she's a bit more refined that way... but I don't know if I'd say that she actually is. She's the last currently existing personality to be formed, though, if that's what you mean.

Maybe, but I'm going to try my way first... even if it does feel like I'm banging my head against the wall.

Initially... Not particularly strong, but enough to cause some problems after a few months if it got to earth.

I appreciate the notion, but I don't see the problem so much being that she's afraid of falling, as that she sees the drop as being a lot farther than it has to be.

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[Private to Noriko]

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