thefifthmonarch | (no subject)

This... really... is just peeling paint. That's why I never said that word as this girl.

Mn... It reminded you of your true self, huh?

It really... Honestly reminds me of a lot of things.

Too much to be comfortable...

Mn... It reminds me of a psychologist I knew... They helped people get through off... Traits. Quirks. Urges. By separating them from what would trigger that.

For instance, to separate an aggressive child from their aggressive nature... They made sure that they were unable to be aggressive. Even in a game, they had to take defensive routes, lest they accidentally triggered their own aggressive nature, through their actions in the game.

In a way... Separating yourself from a word separated yourself from your "true" self, is much like that. The aggressive child becomes calmed... While you become what you are, at this moment.

My hair as well. My hair was my price to be like this. Since. Cat's out of the bag, fair you should know.

Hahahahah.... It's amazing what could trigger that, isn't it?

The human mind... The psyche... It's marvelous to observe. To try to figure out... Just what makes it work.

But... At the very least, I'm sure that this will work out fine.

My hair... I can't dye it... I'm really a brunette. I just like being a blonde. And since I put so much effort into it... it became Yuuko's price as well as a trigger.

I hope so... Sorry.

Mn...

Not hope. It will, Noriko. Because of that... There is nothing to apologize for.

I feel guilty. You don't know how hard it is to be me as I really am. I can't stand being emotional around them. It's just not dignified.

Mn... I probably know a bit better than you think... But that's not the point.

Emotions tend to override dignity. Not something you can really stop, when they get going... You're at least in your own room, right?

Yes... until the buildings are finished, and then I bunk with others.

I miss being myself... yet... I never want to go back.

Then take advantage of being in privacy, tonight.

...Conflicting, isn't it? You should... Eventually think that over, but not right now.

Yeah...

I honestly almost made a bad choice because I forgot how much this is temporary.

Ah...? A bad choice?

I almost wished my real life away. Then we talked, and you gave me a little bit of hope.

...Mn... I've stopped believing in hope myself, but...

I'm glad that I've given at least that to you, Noriko... I'm sure it will help, at the very least.

You've given me a reason to not tear it all away from myself. And I'm happy I didn't make a poor decision like that.

... So. Who do you like better? Me Rich or Me Poor?

I'm happy you didn't make that choice, either, really...

.... I really, honestly, just like Noriko. There's no differentiating between how you act, because it's still you. While... You "poor", as you call it, has been much more friendly... It doesn't mean that you "rich" isn't capable of that, as well. Especially seeing as you've managed to be friendly to me, before making this wish.

So do I.

It's a matter of perspective, really. I was taught to be mean and keep a wall up normally. I suppose with being on the same playing field, I felt more able to talk to others.

Mn... The same playing field, huh?

I'm guessing you can't buy a small warehouse without blinking.

Well, of course not. For one thing, I don't have enough in my personal account for that. For another, I wouldn't want to buy a small warehouse in the first place.

...And for another, my aunt and uncle would rather buy a house in another city, or even another country, instead, and suddenly decide to move there.

I meant just for the hell of it. I can do that.

See what I mean about playing fields?

That's probably more because of your own access to being able to do so, in that it's a different playing field, I'd believe.

Besides... Who'd trust someone like me with that much money?

Aye.

Parents who couldn't give a damn in so long as you don't spill out too much too rapidly.