thefifthmonarch: (Noriko - They Just Don't Understand)
Wakahisa, Noriko a.k.a. Gren Maju Da Eiza ([personal profile] thefifthmonarch) wrote2007-11-19 04:29 pm

(no subject)

Gawd, I hate it when I feel like I'm faking.

[identity profile] keepersouha.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 09:33 pm (UTC)(link)
"Faking", Miss Noriko?

Also, is your headache better, since the last time we spoke?

[identity profile] thefifthmonarch.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 09:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Ever feel like you live a lie at times, dahling?

Much better.

[identity profile] keepersouha.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 09:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Quite a bit more than one would expect, Miss Noriko.

That's good. I felt a bit guilty that I caused it for you... So I'm glad that it's better for you, at least.

[identity profile] thefifthmonarch.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 09:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Keh. I'm sort of feeling a minor crisis of that.

We were having a bad day.

[identity profile] keepersouha.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 09:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Mn... Maybe... You should talk to someone about that, so you can more sort out your feelings towards it, and maybe resolve it?

At least your days have become slightly better, then.

[Private to Souha]

[identity profile] thefifthmonarch.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 09:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Mind talking with me then?

Better, but with more hassle.

Re: [Private to Souha]

[identity profile] keepersouha.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)
I wouldn't mind at all, Miss Noriko.

Hassle? I take it that's somewhat related to your current feelings, then?

Re: [Private to Souha]

[identity profile] thefifthmonarch.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 09:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, as we all know, I'm a rich pretentious snobby bitchy Kogal daughter of a wealthy family, no?

Not so much. Just extracurricular work.

Re: [Private to Souha]

[identity profile] keepersouha.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 09:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I wouldn't exactly call you such in those words, but if you find them appropriate, then... Yes, we do know that.

Ah, I see.

Re: [Private to Souha]

[identity profile] thefifthmonarch.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 09:57 pm (UTC)(link)
I feel fake. Somewhat. I don't want to abandon myself... but. Ugh.

And it's just... yargh.

Re: [Private to Souha]

[identity profile] keepersouha.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Mn... Maybe you should try to slowly change yourself in a way, so you won't feel like you're faking, anymore? At least, with the slowest of changes, as well as the most subtle, it doesn't feel like you're, as you put it, abandoning yourself. Especially if you only feel it somewhat... Slower would probably be better, in that case.

Is it at least rewarding, for you, to take part in it?

Re: [Private to Souha]

[identity profile] thefifthmonarch.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 10:04 pm (UTC)(link)
But I'm expected to be a snobby rich daddy's girl. Then again, I'm not using the blonde hair dye anymore...

Hrrm.

Extremely rewarding. Or at least the end results will be.

Re: [Private to Souha]

[identity profile] keepersouha.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 10:11 pm (UTC)(link)
That's why you do it slowly. People don't really notice the subtle changes... Even when they happen over time, people who see you constantly will never really acknowledge them. But those who you meet, and those who don't see you after an amount of time, will. But they aren't the ones who'd expect you to act a certain way, in comparison to those who see you constantly.

Then keep to it, if it's going to be rewarding for you... But if it's truly troublesome to you, you should also decide whether it's rewarding enough.

Re: [Private to Souha]

[identity profile] thefifthmonarch.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 10:27 pm (UTC)(link)
... Interesting.

But what is wrong with regality... Hrmm.

It WILL be rewarding enough to stick to.

Re: [Private to Souha]

[identity profile] keepersouha.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 10:31 pm (UTC)(link)
There's nothing entirely wrong with it. It just... That if you feel that you're lying, by acting that way, then maybe it's not how you feel you should act?

Then keep to it, if you feel it will be.

Re: [Private to Souha]

[identity profile] thefifthmonarch.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 10:33 pm (UTC)(link)
But I should, must, and will act this way.

I am. Just. Ugh.

Re: [Private to Souha]

[identity profile] keepersouha.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 10:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Mn... Then why feel like you're lying, when you do, when you feel you should?

If it's so troublesome... Maybe you should take a short break from what you're doing, so you don't feel as though it's starting to feel more like a hassle, than anything?

Re: [Private to Souha]

[identity profile] thefifthmonarch.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 10:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Because... conflict of issues and desires. And no way to test between them.

Can't. Have to pay attention to it, or it'll explode.

Re: [Private to Souha]

[identity profile] keepersouha.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 10:45 pm (UTC)(link)
A conflict, huh...? Can you say what issues, and what desires, exactly?

...Explode? Interesting.

Re: [Private to Souha]

[identity profile] thefifthmonarch.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 10:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Between being treated as a commoner and my 'regal' self.

Figuratively, not literally.

Re: [Private to Souha]

[identity profile] keepersouha.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 10:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Mn... What about as an equal?

I'd hope figuratively, honestly. Might be a bit risky, if something were to explode here... Though, I take it that you have to keep an eye on it, then?

Re: [Private to Souha]

[identity profile] thefifthmonarch.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 10:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Reiteriate:

Between being treated as average/normal/equal or being treated for my wealth.

Yes. Every day.

Re: [Private to Souha]

[identity profile] keepersouha.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 10:55 pm (UTC)(link)
So you want to be treated as someone who is above others? Can I ask why?

That sounds... Slightly troublesome, honestly. You have very interesting extracurricular activities, Miss Noriko.

Re: [Private to Souha]

[identity profile] thefifthmonarch.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Because I was born into a better family. It gives me better privlige.

Yes. It is troublesome. And it is interesting, Mr. Souha.

Re: [Private to Souha]

[identity profile] keepersouha.livejournal.com 2007-11-19 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Have you been able to keep up with the privilege you have been given?

I guess some of the more interesting things can be a bit... Troublesome. But I wonder how interesting it is, to one's point of view.